Cultivating Relationships
I want to start thinking about growing my relationship with them for today and for the years to come.
Part of growing as a person is learning how to cultivate the relationships that you have with other people. Family. Friends. Acquaintances. Workmates. Strangers. Unless you've isolated yourself from the rest of the world, you're likely going to interact with various people each and every day.
Although this should seem intuitive (it's not for many, including myself), the most important people in life are your family. They're the ones who will stay with you when things collapse in life and work. They're the ones who will miss you the most when you're no longer here. They're the ones who will be your biggest supporters and cheerleaders. They're the ones who will remember you most fondly in the end. And they're the ones you have the most impact and influence over.
I have a young family (been married for almost five years; have a son who is two years old; have a baby on the way). I want to start thinking about growing my relationship with them for today and for the years to come. I don't want to start thinking about this later in life. I want to start now rather than later. I may not have this opportunity later in life.
But it's not as easy as one thinks. I've got a demanding schedule with projects to complete, speaking engagements to prepare for, a business to run, and people to meet. My days can be quite jam-packed.
As a starting point, I should consider doing simple and easy (yet meaningful) things to grow my relationship with my family. In particular, I've identified some "low-lying fruits" that can help me just get started with this. Here are some easy things that I'm trying to begin with:
Walking with my son home from school. It's a 10-minute walk to my son's daycare. The walk home with my son is a simple way for me to be present in his life and interact with him ("It's a beep beep car!").
I have very little time when my son arrives home to spend with him before his bedtime. But I can really maximize the 20-30 minutes before bedtime. These days, I like to just lay in his bed with him before he sleeps.
Utilize the weekends well. As much as possible, I try not to work on weekends (no writing, no speaking preparations, etc.). Instead, I try to reserve the weekends for family and personal development. For example, I can take my son on a longer walk on Saturdays. Or we'll go to an event together as a family.
Playing cards or board games with my wife. We've discovered that we enjoy this activity together. This is a simple thing I can do pretty much every day with my wife (even if it's just one or two games on some days).
These are some "low-lying fruits" that I can start with. It doesn't mean I won't do other things. In fact, as time goes by, I should consider doing deeper things with my family to develop my relationship with them. But I have to start somewhere. And these are simple and easy places to start for now.
Barnabas the Monastic
Servant of Christ. Husband. Dad. Modern Monastic. I have a wild ambition in life: get as close to the Lord Jesus Christ as I can while on earth. I explore and integrate ancient Christian monk wisdom in modern everyday life. Lives in Canada.
