Cultivating the Heart

Are our emotions having a positive or negative impact?

I'm not much of a fan of hugging. I used to be part of a church where people hugged all the time. Honestly, it could get a little bit annoying but I eventually got used to it. I was known as the person who didn't like hugs (a reputation I didn't mind having!). And if I did indulge in a rare hug, it always felt a little bit awkward to me. My friends would joke that I was like the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz who didn't have a heart. My brother would quip that we were both raised by robots.

As I think about it, this resistance to hugging could be a symptom of a deeper issue in my life: a lack of development in my awareness of my emotions and my ability to manage them. I struggle with naming and dealing with emotions. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this. In fact, writing this blog post was quite challenging because I don't think about this topic enough. I may even avoid thinking about it altogether.

I like to think of myself as a serious person with serious goals and serious habits. This serious posture is great for getting things done. But whether I admit it or not, I am also an emotional person. Contrary to how I like to see myself, I am never a person without emotions (no one ever is). I just may not display my emotions in the way others do. In fact, I may often hide the emotional side of me or I may simply joke my way out of emotional situations.

Part of living for Christ in a godly way is cultivating the heart—our emotional wellbeing and relationships. We feel all kinds of emotions throughout our day: happiness, sadness, frustration, excitement, worry, fear, anger, etc. I'm certainly no expert in talking about emotions. But I do know that emotions play a major role in life, work, and relationships. We take our whole selves with us wherever we go. And that includes our emotional state. If we're feeling sad, that could influence how motivated we are to do anything. If we're happy, that could shape how the rest of the day looks. If we're angry, that could impact the kind of conversations we have with people. Our emotions will most certainly impact something or somebody. If we don't manage our emotions well, there could be some serious consequences to our work and relationships.

As a starting point, we should observe how our emotions are impacting our life, work, and relationships. Are our emotions having a positive or negative impact? With that observation, we can then find ways to grow our emotional wellbeing and be more appropriate in any and every situation we find ourselves in. This will hopefully help us represent Christ better in the world every day.

Barnabas the Monastic

Servant of Christ. Husband. Dad. Modern Monastic. I have a wild ambition in life: get as close to the Lord Jesus Christ as I can while on earth. I explore and integrate ancient Christian monk wisdom in modern everyday life. Lives in Canada.