Self-Sufficiency versus Spirit-Sufficiency

I've seen myself swing from self-sufficiency to Spirit-sufficiency and back again.

I've been a believer in Jesus for over two decades now. It's been a journey fraught with many ups and downs in my spiritual life. In particular, it's been a long journey of learning what it's like to listen to Christ and obey Him every single day. I haven't always been good at listening to Jesus. My spiritual life hasn't been and will never be perfect. And that's OK. Thank God for His graciousness in my life. I'm made righteous through Christ alone. However, I'm happy to say that as time goes by, I'm getting better and better at hearing from Jesus and following His lead. And I try to get better every day.

I liken my journey of learning to hear from Jesus to the swinging of a pendulum. On some days, I swing to the side of self-sufficiency. I try to do things on my own with my skills, talents, and capabilities. I forget (unintentionally) about God and I try to do stuff with my own human power. On other days, however, I swing to the other side—that of Spirit-sufficiency. I pray for God's direction and draw strength from Him to obey. Over the years, I've seen myself swing from self-sufficiency to Spirit-sufficiency and back again. Just like a swinging pendulum.

Admittedly, for most of my years as a believer in Christ, I swung heavily on the side of self-sufficiency. It's so tempting to simply do things on your own power, using your own intelligence, cleverness, and resources. By God's grace, I still ended up serving people in Christ's name even if I didn't fully rely on Him. Thank God for His patience. But I certainly don't want to continue serving with that kind of posture, especially since I know better. I want to swing more heavily on the side of Spirit-sufficiency. I want to be led and guided by the Holy Spirit. I want to be empowered by Him. I believe it's a more effective way of engaging with life, work, and ministry. And also, it's more fun too. It's fun when you clearly hear from the Lord.

As time goes by, I see myself swinging more heavily on the side of Spirit-sufficiency. And that's because of the commitment I've made to engaging in the spiritual practices of prayer, Scripture, worship, and contemplation every single day. I receive a great sense of awe and satisfaction whenever I spend time with the Lord and He directs my steps to where I need to be. It's not unusual to see me at home or at a coffee shop with a journal in hand, ready to take notes about anything that the Lord might reveal for my life and ministry. It's a more fulfilling and effective way to live when I hear from God first and then serve Him out of that wise guidance that He has provided.

As you continue to journey in your relationship with Christ, I hope you'll start to see the pendulum swing more heavily from the side of self-sufficiency to the side of Spirit-sufficiency. In order for that to happen, you will need to be intentional, consistent, and effortful in your pursuit of Christ and His leading for your life, work, and ministry.

Barnabas the Monastic

Servant of Christ. Husband. Dad. Modern Monastic. I have a wild ambition in life: get as close to the Lord Jesus Christ as I can while on earth. I explore and integrate ancient Christian monk wisdom in modern everyday life. Lives in Canada.