A Fresh Start Right Here and Right Now
No matter what has happened in the past, I can take up once again the desire to get as close to Christ as I possibly can.
We all make mistakes. We fall, we fail, and we falter. Some days are just harder than others. That's simply a human reality of living on earth. On some days, things just might become too crazy for us to handle well. On other days, laziness and distractions get the best of our time and we falter in our disciplines. On still other days, we fall into temptation and sin and the enemy wins the battle. As a modern monastic, I'm not immune to having bad days. We all experience them from time to time. And there's no escaping them. There will likely be more to come in the future.
But I'm glad I can count on God's fresh mercies every day. The book of Lamentations tells us that God's mercies are "new every morning" (Lam. 3:23 ESV). And so, every morning when I wake up, I remind myself that I can have a fresh start on this day. Today can be a different day than the one before. It's another chance to take up the monastic posture. I have an opportunity today to work hard at getting closer to Christ. Although I may have lapsed for a day or two because of laziness or sin, I am and I will always be forgiven by Christ as I put my faith in Him. No matter what has happened in the past, I can take up once again the desire to get as close to Christ as I possibly can.
The key is to not get bogged down by past mistakes and lapses. Due to our mistakes or sins, we can feel inadequate or useless or unworthy. And our desire to pursue hard after Christ may diminish because of these feelings of unworthiness. This is a lie of the enemy to keep us wallowing in our sorrow and self-pity. The enemy doesn't want us to keep moving forward. We need to remind ourselves time and time again that Christ has paid it all once and for all. And so, I can pick myself up from where I've fallen to follow Him once again.
If I've lapsed in my spiritual practices for a day for whatever reason, I will do whatever I can to get back to them as soon as possible. I try my best not to delay my return. In my observation, the longer I delay, the more difficult it becomes to return to God and my spiritual disciplines. And so, I try my very best not to lapse for two days in a row. It might be difficult because I may not feel "right" with God. But I just do it anyway. I stay there in His presence with my feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness until I can rise up knowing that He has not abandoned me but that He loves me so.
If you've had a bad day or a string of bad days, God isn't surprised by that. He knows. Know that if you "draw near to God, He will draw near to you" (Jam. 4:8 ESV). You can always come back to the Lord at any time. You can have a fresh start right here and right now because of Christ.
Barnabas the Monastic
Servant of Christ. Husband. Dad. Modern Monastic. I have a wild ambition in life: get as close to the Lord Jesus Christ as I can while on earth. I explore and integrate ancient Christian monk wisdom in modern everyday life. Lives in Canada.
