Flexibility is Key for Modern Monastics
Be prepared to sacrifice some less essential things just for that day.
The other day, my wife wanted to go on a date. Every so often, we go out to spend a little bit of time with each other in the midst of our hectic family life. An activity like this poses an interesting dilemma for a modern monastic. On the one hand, I really enjoy going out with my wife. On the other hand, I know that the amount of time I can spend with God on that particular day will be impacted. After all, a good date can take up anywhere from two to four hours of time.
Now, never going out on a date is not an option. I may be a modern monastic but my wife doesn’t consider herself as such. And so, if my wife wants to go out, then we’re going out. The activity is very good for us and our marriage. Activities like these are part of having a spouse and a family. So, on days like these where I have something like a date night planned, I need to be flexible with the way I will meet with the Lord and adjust accordingly as best as I can.
The first thing I need to do is come to terms with the fact that I will likely not spend the usual amount of time in prayer and meditation. This is OK and it should be expected since my time will be impacted by other important activities. And so, I already give myself permission right off the bat to aim for less time with the Lord. I may aim for two to three hours of prayer that day rather than the usual three to four.
The second thing I need to do is consider some options to allow me more time. In my household, activities like date nights are usually planned in advance–meaning, I know they’re coming. There should be no excuse for me not to take some time to plan out how the day will look and to find creative ways to redeem some time for prayer. On this particular day with a date night, I decided to wake up 45 minutes earlier just to give me that extra bit of room to be with the Lord.
The last thing I need to do is be prepared to sacrifice some less essential things just for that day. I might choose to skip my exercise routine or I might decide to forego cleaning the house or working on the yard. If I attempt to do all of these things along with the date night, I’m likely going to end up exhausted and frustrated. It’s better for me to be prepared to sacrifice them knowing that I can pick them up again the next day. Sacrificing some things will open up some space for the most important thing–spending with the Lord–while having a good date night too.
Flexibility is key for living as a modern monastic. I’ve found that no two days are exactly alike and I must adjust accordingly or I may end up frustrated at the interruptions or the lack of time for prayer.
Barnabas the Monastic
Servant of Christ. Husband. Dad. Modern Monastic. I have a wild ambition in life: get as close to the Lord Jesus Christ as I can while on earth. I explore and integrate ancient Christian monk wisdom in modern everyday life. Lives in Canada.
