Wandering Thoughts
It's OK if I don't get everything "perfectly right" with my times with the Lord.
My mind wanders a lot. I've accepted this as a fact of life for me. It's how God created me to be. It's advantageous in some sense because I'm constantly processing things in my mind. It helps me think through complex issues and gain insights and ideas. Some amazing things have come out of my life because of these ever wandering thoughts.
But at the same time, it can also be quite annoying. It's annoying when I have to concentrate on a specific task like praying or reading Scripture. A thought may all of a sudden appear in the middle of my meditation to the Lord that may derail the spiritual practice for minutes on end. I might start thinking about the various chores I need to do at home or about a conversation I recently had or about a problem at work. I'm sure I'm not alone in this. I'm pretty sure many others share this same experience of having wandering thoughts while praying or reading Scripture.
I've learned to accept that this can and will likely happen whenever I engage in spiritual exercises. I shouldn't be frustrated or disappointed by this at all. Instead, I should allow the thoughts to come and attempt to gently return myself to what I was doing in the first place.
It's OK if I don't get everything "perfectly right" with my times with the Lord. If my mind wanders in prayer or reading Scripture, I can gently come back and attempt to put my full concentration on the task again. And it's OK if I have to do this multiple times in a given session. The point is that I shouldn't feel guilty about this or get bogged down whenever it happens. Keep going. Keep practicing. Perhaps over time, I'll develop better concentration and the wandering thoughts will occur less and less. I should give myself some grace for the time-being.
Barnabas the Monastic
Servant of Christ. Husband. Dad. Modern Monastic. I have a wild ambition in life: get as close to the Lord Jesus Christ as I can while on earth. I explore and integrate ancient Christian monk wisdom in modern everyday life. Lives in Canada.
